The Liz Bapasola Podcast

Can You Really Reach Your Full Potential?

March 04, 2019 Season 1 Episode 1
The Liz Bapasola Podcast
Can You Really Reach Your Full Potential?
Chapters
The Liz Bapasola Podcast
Can You Really Reach Your Full Potential?
Mar 04, 2019 Season 1 Episode 1
Dr. Liz Bapasola
In this inaugural episode of the Liz Bapasola Podcast, your host, Dr. Liz Bapasola, will answer a listener/viewer question about if it's possible if you'll EVER reach your full potential. Reaching your full potential and in every way seeking to Be Better Than Before are two mottos of Dr. Liz Bapasola that she'll share and detail.
Show Notes Transcript

In this inaugural episode of the Liz Bapasola Podcast, your host, Dr. Liz Bapasola, will answer a listener/viewer question about if it's possible if you'll EVER reach your full potential. Reaching your full potential and in every way seeking to Be Better Than Before are two mottos of Dr. Liz Bapasola that she'll share and detail.

Some resources:
www.lizbapasola.com
www.lizbapasola/liz-tv
www.lizbapasola.com/articles
www.lizbapsola.com/newsletter

Speaker 1:
0:06
Hi everybody. My name is Dr Liz that Pistola and I'm the founder and CEO of [inaudible] and associates. And I'm here to help you reach your full potential. So I'm super excited to launch the Liz Pappa Sola podcasts for you. And that's because I've been working on my coaching and consulting business for a little over a year now. And I have a youtube channel called Liz TV where I share some insights and Monday motivations with you about once a week and it's going pretty well. I'm getting some good traction on it. Um, for the viewers that have watched the show, they seem to really like it and are resonating with it. And now I really want to broaden my reach and also expand my points that I make by going in a little bit more in depth with the comments, the insights that I want to provide, and also to answer listener questions. So today I want to talk to you about a question I really want to answer that's come up more than once, but with just post to me formally over Facebook when I posted a youtube video on rejection.
Speaker 1:
1:12
And I always end my youtube Liz TV episodes with saying, you know, I hope you each and every day be better than before and one day I know you will reach your full potential. So the question came up from Pfizer all the way from Australia. She's a family friend of mine. She's married to my cousin and she really asked, um, in a nutshell, can you really reach your full potential? And if that's true, she said she thought that kind of sounded a little sad. Um, because then you're done reaching your full potential and then you just kinda hang out there. Um, you know, she thought that you should always try to be better and always try to improve and thinking you're never going to reach that finish line. So I want to answer that question because when I've given talks and asked the audience, mostly these were college students that I spoke with, they, um, kind of half of the room raised their hand when I asked the question, do you think you can reach your full potential?
Speaker 1:
2:08
And half didn't. So I know this may seem a little controversial or just, um, divisive and the idea that you will one day reach your full potential. So I want to share with you why I think you will, but not always forever at your full potential. So I think it's a great question and I want to kind of give a disclaimer that I have, maybe you might gather, but I do have perfectionistic tendencies and I've struggled personally with perfectionism. Basically my entire life for as long as I can remember. I even remember when I was in second grade and I was a really big dancer and I was a thin, pretty tall, thin girl growing up, at least in my elementary and middle school years. Um, and I remember looking in the mirror at my dance leotard and thinking I was fat when I was eight years old.
Speaker 1:
3:00
And I now look at that picture of me and my leotard and I was a super skinny girl. So I've always had some distortions about my weight and struggled with my weight when I hit puberty and got older and my high school college, 20 something years still working with a Dietitian to lose that baby weight. But I had perfectionistic tendencies with my appearance. I've also had it in school. Um, I've had it at work. People call me a perfectionist and I've learned the motto that I so, so, so believe in. And that is to focus on progress, not perfection because the one thing you will absolutely always fail at is perfectionism being perfect. It's completely related to mental health issues. You're more likely to be depressed if you're always focused on trying to be perfect cause you never ever will, at least here on earth.
Speaker 1:
3:56
So that said, I have a kind of new motto. I really embraced it this year and is working well for me and I hope it will work well for you if you try it on. And that is this idea to be better than before. So there's a book that Gretchen Rubin Row, I'm a few years back called better than before and it's really about habits. How to get better every day by building really good habits and holding yourself accountable to those habits or having someone else to hold you accountable depending on your personality type. I like to kind of play on that, but add the word bee bee too. It be better than before and the state of being is really important. So I love that motto that you're not going to try to be better than before or just you know, be better than before in general, but really every day and embody the spirit of improvement and progress, not perfection, but progress.
Speaker 1:
4:50
So when I say be better than before and then one day, reach your full potential, that is the ultimate goal. And I do think there have been times in my life where I just nailed it. I really was in all cylinders doing my best work and it felt awesome. I was in the state that's I'm known as flow Flye like being in flow is when you're, you know, you don't think about the time you're just engrossed in your work and you are just killing it. I did that when I was writing my dissertation and I delivered my dissertation defense. This was back in the spring of 2018 and I just killed it when I was writing the last three chapters of that dissertation. I was writing fast. I was writing well, there were very few typos. Um, I paid an editor and she only missed one typo in over 200 word dissertation.
Speaker 1:
5:49
So when I handed it in, I just had one type of one it. But it was really the best that I could do. And it was the best of my editor could do. I nail that defense. They said it was a model dissertation and I felt that in that element and that aspect of my life, I did the very, very, very best I could. Now granted have, I've always done the very, very, very best I've could. No. But when you focus on your priorities in life and when you focus on specifically on your holistic wellness, on your emotional and social intelligence, on your leadership and leading with your strengths, I really do think that there can be moments in your life where you reach your full potential. You're not always going to be in that flow state and that awesome, full potential state, but I do think you can be there and hang out there and keep on striving to do your best work every single day and really focus on that as best as possible.
Speaker 1:
6:46
Now, after the dissertation, I definitely took a big hiatus. I took a break. I enjoyed being with my family more because I made a lot of sacrifices for that, but in that moment, what I needed to do was focus on my dissertation to get that done, to be ed done. I got a doctorate of education, so I have an Edd, but I call it ed done. And it was the best that I could do given that I was working full time as an executive at a higher education institution given I was a mom of a one and a half year old and married and try to have a social life a little bit and you know, take care of my health. But it was the best that I could do and I got good feedback. Um, so that was validating. So I have so Pfizer, that's to answer your question about, I do think you can reach your full potential in some cases, some places in your life.
Speaker 1:
7:37
And the main thing that I always focus on is be better than before each and every day. Think about how you can move the needle a little bit more. Knowing that your best work today will not always be your best work tomorrow or was your best work yesterday. Some days are harder, you may be sick, you may have a sick kid, you may have a frustrating coworker or really difficult staff member and you are doing your very best. And it's not like kick butt best, but it's good enough best. And that's all that matters is that you're being better than before now. So I have a motto be better than before. And then I also have kind of a mantra about my priorities in life and that also really helps me to focus on being better than before and reaching my full potential. And this is something that I've kept with me.
Speaker 1:
8:30
It was actually a gift that one of my really good high school friends gave me, her name is Mike Tran and she gave me this and it's framed and it says may the focus of my day being on life's priorities. Love God, family and friends, take care of my health and be the best that I can be in all that I do. Once again, made the focus of my day be on life's priorities. One, love God, family and friends to take care of my health. And three be the best that I can be an all that I do. And thinking about that, whether you're a spiritual, religious or not, that's the loving God piece is up to you. Loving family and friends. I hope that everyone has a place for that in their heart to love family and friends. Taking care of your health is so, so critical.
Speaker 1:
9:24
And I've lost my health more than once. I have a chronic health condition that I manage as best I can. And that includes holistically managing my health. And then this idea of being the best that you can be in all that that you do is so critical. So to tell you a quick story, my mom, um, is amazing. I'm sure most of you think your mom is too, but I'm very biased that my mom, grays householder is quite amazing. She had four kids over a span of nine years. So I have three siblings. I'm the oldest was nine when my younger brother was born. And then I was six. And then I had a sister who was three. And then I had, my brother was a newborn and my mom basically said the 1980s the whole decade was a complete blur because she had four kids and she was working full time as a journalist and as an author of multiple books.
Speaker 1:
10:15
And it was tough. And my dad was working really hard too and they were amazing parents. But I always complained about the fact that I didn't get enough attention or I don't like the tuna casserole that my mom made for the umpteenth time or whatever. We were very ungrateful despite having amazing parents cause you don't know any different when you only have one set of parents. And we couldn't have friends over all the time because there were so many people in the house as it was, that type of thing. But my mom always said, and I thought it was annoying when she said it, but she always said, you know what kids, I'm just doing the very best I can. And we're like, well it's not good enough. And she's like, no, I am doing the very best I can. And she let it go.
Speaker 1:
10:59
And that's what I have to say to you, whether it's Pfizer or whoever is listening, you listening right now is just do the best you can. And so people are going to hate on you. They are going to really wonder if you care about them. When you are a supervisor and you don't really like their performance and you need to give them some tough feedback. You got to just do the best you can and then have peace with that. Now doing the best you can also means learning and investing in yourself. Really focusing on what you can do to grow asks for feedback. I do believe in feedback. There's some writings recently in Harvard Business Review about feedback and I do think that blind spots or something that needs to disappear as much as possible and feedback helps you understand what your blind spots are or your areas that you may not know about yourself that does need to be improved.
Speaker 1:
11:55
Um, but I think this idea of doing the best you can is something that I really, really resonate with. And so I want you to try that on for size too. So in a nutshell fi's that again, I really think you need to reflect on whether there's been a moment in your life where you've really reached your full potential in that moment of time. Whether it was a fitness goal that you had and then you ran a race and you killed it, whether it was a class that you taught, if you are a teacher and the kids just got it and you are in your element and in your prime and then that moment with all of everything that was on your plate with all that you had to give, you did it. You absolutely did it and be grateful for it and relish in that and celebrate that time when you're at your full potential knowing that you'll get back there, but you'll be even better than before and the challenge will even be harder.
Speaker 1:
12:52
Now, one last piece that I want to share with you before we head out today that is the challenges should be embraced as quote the raw material for your future success. This is quoting my executive coach and life coach Tony de Angelo. He's the founder of collegiate empowerment. And when I'm at rock bottom, even if it's not as scheduled coaching call, I will text Tony called Tony Email Tony, whatever makes the most sense at that moment and be like, I'm at rock bottom. This sucks right now. I can't even tell you how I've fallen flat on my face and need some support. I have this challenge and this challenge and this challenge and I just rattle it all off to him. And he says to me, and the most peaceful, confident, reassuring tone. Liz, always remember that your challenges are the raw material for your future success. And he'll say it over and over and over again and I'll scribble it on my notepad because I always take notes when I talked to Tony, my executive coach.
Speaker 1:
13:56
And that is so true. When you think about the hardest challenges you've ever faced and you rose to that occasion, you embrace that you always are better as a result of it. That dissertation that I wrote, Oh my gosh, so hard. That was so intense. Especially being an assistant VP, an executive at a really well known college. Um, being a mom of a one and a half year old, being married, wanting to have a social life, wanting to take care of my health, wanting to do a good job at work and life. That was really, really, really hard. But I did it and I'm so proud of myself for that and that really has helped me be more successful as a result of coming through that challenge. Health challenges that I've had have really hit me really hard, but every single time I'm better, I'm healthier after I get it and I can empathize with people who go through similar challenges as well and I can help them even more.
Speaker 1:
14:59
I had a setback. I had a very long term, um, very serious relationship when I was from 18 to 25 that we were going to get married, all that good stuff. And we broke up and I was devastated. I felt like I was going through a mini divorce because we were practically engaged and our families loved each other and we loved each other and our friends all loved each other. And we had mutual friends and it was kind of like we were divorced after that and I was had to rethink my whole life. Um, but what a gift that relationship was when we were together, but also what a gift it was that we broke up. Now he's happily married. I'm happily married. I have a beautiful daughter. I love my life and wouldn't, um, take my husband, wouldn't want anyone else to be married to besides my husband that I'm married to now.
Speaker 1:
15:49
But that was a challenge that I went through when I was 25 years old. And I've hit rock bottom more than once. And I'm sure you, my listener or Pfizer, whoever's listening, has been at rock bottom before too. But you know what? You get through it now. If you are listening and you are at rock bottom right now, just know you will get through it. And this is the raw material to your future success. And every challenge is an opportunity to help you be better than before and reach your full potential. So just think about that. Every challenge is Tony, my coach says, is the raw material to your future success. And so each and every day focus on your priorities, focusing on being the best that you can be in all that you do. And I truly do believe, I'm not just saying this, I do believe that there can be moments in time where you really kill it, nail it, do it, and you are at your full potential.
Speaker 1:
16:47
And it feels great. You need to recharge afterwards because it takes a whole lot of energy to be at your full potential. So you need to take care of yourself and do what Steven Covey talks about is sharpening the saw, but it really, really, really can happen truly. And then you move forward, then you recharge, then you have a new challenge. Then you keep on trying to be better than before. And it's a journey. Obviously. They always say the saying, um, life is a journey, not a destination. Life is a gift. You know, all of those pieces about life are I think are so true that life is beautiful despite hard times. And you know you're never going to be perfect. You shouldn't try to be, but you should try to be at your best. You should try to do your best everyday is my mom always said and then come to peace with the fact when that is not perfect or doesn't meet the standards that you have for yourself or maybe someone has for you.
Speaker 1:
17:44
But it really, really matters to always try to be better than before. I'm going to share with you in future podcasts the formula that I have to reach your full potential, which is a preview of my book, which is called the equation life's formula to reach your full potential. So I'm going to go through in the podcast and much more deeper terms. Um, what I mean by holistic wellness when I mean by emotional and social intelligence and what I mean by leading with your strengths. I'm writing a book on it now. It's going to come out in 2020. I'm super excited about self publishing that. And then I have a blog where I write about some of these things. And then I mentioned earlier the Youtube Channel where I talk about these things and give kind of some graphics around the Youtube Channel and I use the whiteboards and times and use kind of a teaching module cause I used to be a faculty member at Temple University of Miami University and the College of New Jersey.
Speaker 1:
18:41
So I'd like to do some teaching moments on the white board that I have in my Home Office. So do check me out on my blog, on my youtube channel. Those can all be found on Liz bap, passilla.com L I Z B a p a s o l a.com. Those will be in the show notes. So those links as well. And I will use this platform as a way to really go into more in depth ways to help you. And then the book will be kind of like the ultimate gift that's on my heart that I want to share with the world. So that's all I have for you for the list episode podcast today. I truly, truly, truly hope you have a fantastic day. I hope that each and every day you are better than before, and I know that one day you will reach your full potential. Take Care, and I'll talk to you next time on the list episode podcast. They'll buy.